Duct Tape is the Answer to Everything

As simple as it gets:
Person 1 states a problem.
Person 2 solves it by using duct-tape in any way possible.

Person 1:
My teacher is annoying.

Person 2:
Duct-tape her to the wall and walk away.

Nasa stopped making rockets.

Person 3:
Duct-tape some metal plates together and be off!
etc.

(copied directly from plutian on TCS)

To start!
The internet is distracting me from my work.

Duct tape the mouse to the keyboard so you can't use either!

My cat is shedding like crazy...

Cover your cat in duct tape! Pull it off, and your cat is shaved!!

My socks have a hole!

take your socks off and wrap duct tape over your feet.


my computer screen is cracked.

Put duct tape in the hard drive. Now your cracked screen is the least of your problems.

My fingernail polish has started to chip.

put duct tape on your nails, and try to rip them off, then put the duct tape on as nails and polish.


i have a bald spot.

Make a wig out of the duct tape, and put it on your head. Never rip it off.


A car blew up outside.

Stick duct tape in your ears-- if you can't hear it, it isn't real!

My bracelet is stretched out.

Cover your mouth with duct tape so you don't complain about it.

A car crashed into a tree.

tape the car to the tree.



pink grass is growing.

Cover it with duct tape and when you run out, eat the rest of the pink grass.

I have a cookie obsession.

Bake a batch of cookies with melted duct tape, throw them out the window into the garden, and feel good that those cookies died.


There is a hole in my face.

cover it with duct tape.



i am at a boring carnival.

Throw tape at the performers and run away.

I am driving, and one of my wheels blew out.

Build a rocket with duct tape and cardboard and ditch your car.

I have a headache XD

Make a swan out of duct tape, and stick it on your head. Balance it out while making and drinking lemonade.

I have the flu.

Threaten your doctor with duct tape so he'll give you medicine.

I fell off the chair.

Duct tape yourself to the chair so you will never fall off the chair or get off.

I can't find my keys.

Duct tape yourself to the wall. It won't help, but it would be fun ^_^

I'm cold... and hungry.

Use duct tape to make a blanket and then when you are warm eat the blanket.

I have no friends.

Kidnap some people, then torture them with duct tape until they're your friends, then when you're bored with them, eat them!

My sims game has too much lag

Make your own sims out of duct tape... no lag there.

I am allergic to carrots.

Tape Bugs Bunny to a tree and force feed him every carrot ever, so it won't be a problem.

I have awful hair.

make a wig out of duct tape... lol

My friend got hit by a train.

For payback kill thomas the tank engine with duct tape.

Why are there no fat stickmen?