Duct Tape is the Answer to Everything

First topic message reminder :


As simple as it gets:
Person 1 states a problem.
Person 2 solves it by using duct-tape in any way possible.

Person 1:
My teacher is annoying.

Person 2:
Duct-tape her to the wall and walk away.

Nasa stopped making rockets.

Person 3:
Duct-tape some metal plates together and be off!
etc.

(copied directly from plutian on TCS)

To start!
The internet is distracting me from my work.

WELL... is she my simself by any chance?

Get some string, tie duct tape on the end and hang it over the treadmill. The duct tape is so awesome she'll run after it XD


I'm allergic to cats.

People are normally alergic to the fur of cats so use duct tape to make the cat have no hair and then make the cat hair from duct tape.

A book I borrowed from the library is lost... (all fake.)

Make another out of duct tape.

I have a cold.... and you last problem reminds me of a time I forgot to return a DVD to the library for a year or so and I got banned from there for a bout 3 years.

(all true)

Melt duct tape into medicine to help with the cold. *facepalms*

My duct tape book isn't accepted in the library.

You don't give it to library and keep it in a under ground vault. Secured with duct tape, of course.

My hair is a MESS.

Duct tape it into a new shape.

I hate my name.

Use duct tape to cover up your name on your birth certificate and write what you want your name to be on top of that, then duct tape everyone's mouth closed if they call you by the wrong name!
There are no cakes left at the bakery.

Panic, die, then have a coffin sealed with duct tape.

I have too much duct tape.

The duct tape will disappear, because you'll make balls of duct tape and cover the rolls of tape up!

Viola! You now have toys.

I dropped my piece of pizza on the ground.

Duct tape all the hair and dirt of it by putting duct tape on the pizza and peeling it off.

A plane just crashed into a mountain.

Welll uhm, any survivors' injuries should be treated with duct tape. The plane fixed with duct tape. The dead buried in duct tape.


My Sims game is unbearably slow.

Throw duct tape at your computer, then tape your computer up with duct tape once it's broken. Proceed to see if it helped.

I am having trouble writing a book.

Write it about duct tape.

I hate people.

Then duct tape your ears and eyes closed so you don't have to deal with them!
I lost the science fair.

You seek revenge on the winner. You go murder him with duct tape, then blame it on the duct tape guy.


I really want to watch a movie NOW that doesn't come out 'til March 23.

Make your own movie out only using duct tape and it'll be one million times better than that movie.

I want to go swimming.

Why not go? Go to the swimming baths in the duct-tape-mobile!

I hate my school uniform.

Make a new one out of duct tape DUH! If anyone disagrees with it duct tape them to a wall.

I want a pancake!

Make a pancake robot out of duct tape. He'll make you pancakes...

I spilled my lemonade.

Pick it up with duct tape and wring it back into your cup or glass.

Santa didn't give me a pony XD

Throw duct tape at him until he gets you one!

I can't fly.

Make duct tape webs and swing in the air like spiderman. XD

Justin Bieber.





Enough said.

Make a gun out of duct tape.

Now shoot yourself.

It's the only way to deal with these things...

I'm broke.